Microsoft’s first dedicated Xbox handheld device, theXbox ROG Ally, was announced this week—and I hate it. To clarify, I don’t hate the device itself. It seems like a powerful way to bring gaming wherever players are, and a strong competitor to the Steam Deck with its ability to play both Xbox and PC games.
No,what I hate about it is its name. The “Xbox ROG Ally” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but that’s also not entirely surprising. After all, the console is just following a trend that started decades ago, and continues to this day, ofnaming consoles unexciting names. I say it’s time to change that and go back to the golden age of video game console naming conventions, when every new console had an awesome name that sounded like it could be a sci-fi movie name.
Console Names Have Gotten Boring
The Big 3 Have Traded In Originality For Branding
The first dedicated home console ever made was released in 1972. By the time it was discontinued three years later, the console sold over 350,000 copies and could play 28 games and even had its own light gun.Its name was the Magnavox Odyssey, a fittingly awesome and thematically appropriate name for a product that started a decades-long journey through video game history.
It wasn’t long beforeother consoles followed the Odyssey into homesaround the world, their pixellated games setting the stage for the hyper-realism of current-generation consoles. As the consolesbecame more powerful and impressive, though, their names became less and less exciting.
Today, home consoles are associated with three main companiesand their console lines: the Sony PlayStation, Microsoft Xbox, and Nintendo Switch. With the exception of Nintendo, Sony’s been using the PlayStation name since 1994, and the Xbox has been called that since 2001.
As the consoles became more powerful and impressive, though, their names became less and less exciting.
Instead of coming up with new names for their consoles,the companies realized the importance of brandingand currently have the PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and therecently named Xbox ROG Ally. Even Nintendo, which has had the most fun console names in recent years, like the delightful monickers of the Nintendo Wii and Wii U, went with the simple (and boring) Nintendo Switch 2 for its latest console release.
Even The Xbox ROG Ally Code Name Was More Interesting
It may feel like the three big companies have dominated the world of home consoles since the beginning, but it hasn’t always been like that. When the console boom hit, it hit hard: The first generation ofconsoles that followed the Odyssey included over 100 different consoles. Not all had great names, but many did.
The namesreflected the excitement that companies and consumers had for the new technology. Some of my favorite console names from that first generation are:
And yes, of course, I’m overlooking the plainer names from that age. For every Dreamcast, there was a 1292 Advanced Programmable Video System (1978, Audiosonic). Still, there’s somethingretro-futuristic about many of the names from the 70s-90s,which makes me excited about the possibilities of the tech contained within them.
This playfulness is missing from the technical-sounding Xbox ROG Ally and Nintendo Switch 2.This is disappointing on a personal level, especially since “Codename Keenan” sounded much more interesting to me than the Xbox Ally. But it’s also a potentially poor marketing move, since it pits the new generation against its old iteration. Why would I buy a second Switch if I already have a Switch? What willmake the PlayStation 6 differentenough from the PlayStation 5 to warrant sinking hundreds of dollars into it?
As technology evolves, the tech gaps between generations keep getting smaller and less noticeable. The leap from PlayStation 1 to 2 was huge, but the differences between PlayStation 4 and 5 were more subtle. It’s time to ditch this boring and linear naming convention and dig into the history of video game consoles for some moreinteresting names for future consoles, as a way torekindle the excitement for new and innovative tech.
How much more fun would it be if theXbox ROG Allyand other current-gen consoles had just kept their codenames? Then we’d be playing on the Xbox Keenan (ROG Ally), the Nintendo Ounce (Switch 2), Sony Prospero (PS5), and the Microsoft Anaconda (Xbox Series X) and Lockhart (Series S). With any luck, future generations will break the mold and bring the fun back into video game consoles.
